OK, well I’d still say to you to make a go of it, I was in the same situation as you not long ago and I didn’t do anything about it, and I ended up just going through 9 months of absolute torture as we slowly grew apart after being close for so long. But I swear to you it was exactly like what you’ve described to me. What I will say is try and get out with just you and him, because you need to try to break down this shyness barrier that you get with him in person, hypothetically if you two got together the wall would still be there, if you think about it. I always felt that the shyness would go away if he said he liked me too, but I didn’t dare do anything and consequently I never found out. Carrying on with my life story, the guy is going back to Ecuador on wednesday, and after that I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.
Basically, if you weigh up the pros and cons of admitting how you feel about him, and just keeping zipped up, the worst that could happen is that he doesn’t like you back. He’s displayed a fond interest in you, that he’d like to pursue, given the cute cuddle and coming up to you despite having your friends around you.
When I told my guy everything, he apologised for giving me the wrong impression at times (even though i’d long understood that he just didn’t see me like that), but despite me not contacting him and avoiding him cos I felt so awkward and cringeworthy, he went out of his way to see me and carry on our friendship like before, because even though nothing was romantically inclined, he still cares for me, and genuinely likes me. And now that he knows, I can act however the hell I want around him, because the little fear you have inside of you that sparks up this shyness is the worry that if you’re yourself and you show your true appreciation for him, he’ll guess you like him. It sounds crazy, but that’s what it is ! There’s something scary about him guessing you like him, but you’re not sure if he knows or not so you just wait to see if he does something….But unless you’re sure he knows, you’ll just wait a very long time. If he does like you back, then he’s probably feeling the way you are ; shy because of the uncertainty. And if he knows you like him, then you won’t have to hold back your true personality because there’s nothing to hide anymore. I hope I’ve been clear…
Basically ; the sooner you know for sure that he knows you like him, the sooner he can decide what to do about it, and the sooner this fear, worry, shyness, will dissipative.
Please go for it, I don’t want someone to suffer like I did…because that’s what it is, it’s suffering when you like someone so so much and you can’t be yourself around them for fear of effing things up. But if he’s truly decent, and hence even qualifies for any space in your heart and mind, then even if the feeling isn’t mutual, he will stay lovely and understanding. And if he doesn’t act nicely about it, then you’ll be well shot of him and soon wonder what you ever saw in him.
Good luck !! and if you want to talk about it some more, I’ll always reply. x
